DUBLIN, Ga. — It’s special whenever another human being reaches out to care for someone else. It’s giving a piece of your heart, time and compassion.
This month, we’re highlighting people that go above and beyond… people who give themselves in amazing ways to help others. Our series continues with the story of one caregiver who spent most of his teenage and young adult years caring for two people who could no longer care for themselves.
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Alzheimer’s is a baffling disease that erodes a person’s memories, personality, and eventually their ability to do simple tasks.
Kelvin Tyson was an accountant. He got a devastating diagnosis at the age of 53.
“We never even said the word Alzheimer’s around him,” said his son, Pace.
Pace was 14 and the family was just trying to cope. Pace’s mother, Marsha, held things together.
Kelvin didn’t battle with the disease long; it took only four years before it ended his life. Then, the unthinkable happened.
“I was 23 when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I just couldn’t believe it,” said Pace.
Pace, who recently became a father himself, is grieving again while caring for a parent with an early onset diagnosis.
“There’s been many nights where I stayed in bed, where I was upset, I was crying... because awhile back we went and saw my mom through the window. She didn’t know who I was and it was one of the first times that she told me to go away,” he said. “Sometimes I feel like it's harder on the caregiver and the family than the loved one.”
“He went to tuck his mom in for bed. He walked in there and he had a book, I think it’s called ‘Love You Forever,’ and he started reading her that book,” said Pace’s wife, Sela.
Marsha read it to her son when he was little.
“The boy becomes a man and he has a family of his own and he gets a call from her saying she's sick and she needs him. He goes over there and he rocks his mom back and forth, back and forth and he says 'I'll love you forever,' and then he goes back home and rocks his little baby girl. The parallels of it to my life tears my heart up,” said Pace.
Marsha is at the Dublinair nursing facility and not much can soothe the pain her son is going through, but something did make a difference… something he calls a miracle.
“She always asks, ‘How’s that baby?’ She may not remember the baby’s name, but she knows there is a baby,” he said.
It’s a connection, and Pace is thankful for the support of his wife and older sisters. He says they hold every memory close because they know the enemy of Alzheimer’s well. Some would say they’ve had too much experience, but Pace says he’s not bitter, just thankful.
“She always tells me every time I go and see her, ‘I’ll love you forever,’ even with her sickness she has not let it go,” he said. “When you have that love it makes everything better.”
If you have a loved one facing this disease, the Alzheimer's Association is always a resource for help. You can visit the Community Resource Finder on their site.
They have support groups here in Central Georgia, free virtual education programs, and a helpline that is staffed 24 hours a day. Click here for the Community Resource Finder.