This is a column of opinion and analysis by 13WMAZ's Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, Randall Savage.
As Biblical stories go, Jesus sometimes rode a donkey as he journeyed from place to place preaching the gospel.
In those days, donkeys might've been the most modern means of transportation.
But some 2,000 years later, a preacher riding a donkey would snarl traffic for miles, no doubt prompting blaring horns, single-finger hand waves and obscene shouts from passing motorists.
That's especially true if the preacher and donkey were on the interstate or four-lane highways.
Until a few days ago, I hadn't thought of Jesus riding a donkey for a while. But the right reverend Jesse Duplantis, a Louisiana-based televangelist, mentioned Jesus and riding a donkey while pitching his request for a new $54 million jet.
It seems that Jesus himself sent a direct message from heaven to Duplantis, already owner of three private jets, telling him to get off his duff and get his viewing audience to fork over the money for a 12-seat Dassault Falcon 7X.
"It was one of the greatest statements the Lord ever told me," Duplantis said. "He said, 'Jesse do you want to come up where I'm at? I want you to bleed me for a Falcon 7X."
Duplantis didn't make it clear what Jesus meant when he said bleed him. But the earthly reverend concluded it meant putting checks, money orders and cash from the faithful viewers of Jesse Duplantis Ministries into the pockets of the reverend himself.
With a nice new jet plane, Duplantis said he could load up his entourage and reach people around the world. He didn't mention remote villagers in his speech, but it's possible there might be places nearby to put a primitive landing strip capable of accommodating Duplantis and company.
By the way, Duplantis said the private plane wouldn't be his. It would belong to the ministry which he controls.
"All it's gonna do is it's going to touch people," Duplantis said. "It's going to reach people. It's going to change lives one soul at a time."
And that's when the donkey moseyed into the picture.
"I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," said Duplantis.
That's close to what the Rev. Jim Bakker said shortly before his PTL - or Prase The Lord - ministry crumpled in the aftermath of a sex scandal involving his secretary, Jessica Hahn.
Bakker, along with then-wife Tammy Faye, received $1 million a week from nightly viewers of their television broadcasts. Asked about getting millions from his mass media audience, Bakker said, "I believe that if Jesus were alive today, he would be on TV."
His ministry crumbled when word leaked that he'd shelled out $279,000 of PTL money to keep Hahn quiet. She alleged that Bakker and pastor John Wesley Fletcher drugged and raped her. Many people began calling PTL, "Pay The Lady."
Two years later, Bakker was convicted of federal charges, including fraud and conspiracy. He spent five years in prison. He now broadcast the daily "Jim Bakker Show from Branson, Mo.
Meanwhile, Duplantis insists he isn't asking his followers to donate money. He just wants them to "believe" the aircraft into existence.
The Bible says people were shouting Hosanna when Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem. What will people sing when Duplantis lands his $54 million jet in the Congo?
